Faint
by Yamiko Number 7
Summary: Yet another Let'sAllGoAbuseBakura fic...this one written to Linkin Park's Faint. OLD.


 SEQ CHAPTER \h \r 1**Faint**

Song By: Linkin Park (Meteora)

Fic By: KC

Well, here I go again, dabbling into songfiction. The song may not fit entirely well in some places, but I'll do the best I can. This is also going to be another one of my few ventures into serious fanfiction. (Normally, I do crazy humor.)

Also *forgive me* I am now one of the multitudes who has written a poor-Bakura-getting-abused-by-his-Yami fic. (You're reading it.) Please no flames! I'm doing my best and nobody dies! Please, my fellow rabid Bakura fangirls, don't kill me!

Wish me luck and here it goes! R&R!

(Disclaimer: I do not own any Yu-Gi-Oh characters. They all belong to Kazuki Takahashi  and Konami.)

*****

How long has it been since he's spoken to me?

~_I am_

_A little bit of loneliness~_

I can't remember.

_~A little bit of disregard_

_A handful of complaints but I can't help the fact that~_

I also can't remember the last time I've reached out to any of the people who are supposed to be my friends. Especially Yugi. God, I miss him.

Maybe he can see what's going on with me. Maybe that's why we haven't been talking.

_~Everyone can see these scars~_

Maybe he's afraid.

_"Afraid," I hear the chilling voice of the ever-present phantom in the back of my head hiss. __"Afraid of what, Bakura? You?" He laughs mirthlessly._

"Shut up," I growl. "For once, just leave me alone..."

_"Please. Where's the fun in that?" He snickers._

"There's no fun," I sigh, falling back onto the pillows on my bed. "There's only relief."

Relief from you. For me.

_~I am_

_What I want you to want_

_What I want you to feel~_

I stare up at the dark ceiling of my bedroom, thinking. I remember when he first came into my life, how I tried to make peace with him, to please him.

_~But it's like no matter what I do_

_I can't convince you_

_To just believe this is real~_

It never worked. He always wants more and more of me, more than I can give and still retain my soul.

I fear he's taking it anyway.

_~So I_

_Let go watching you_

_Turn your back like you always do_

_Face away, pretend that I'm not~_

When I open my eyes, I'm staring into his face. I can still see my bedroom ceiling through his ghostly figure, though, so he hasn't taken us to the Shadow Realm.

Yet.

I hate it when things happen like this. I'm lying on my bed and he's on top of me, one knee on either side of my hips, nearly sitting on me, leaning over me so close his nose is nearly touching mine. Trapped.

I don't know what to do. I want to get rid of him so badly it hurts, but I'm afraid of what will happen if I fail.

I'm also afraid of what will happen if I should succeed.

_~But I'll be here 'cause you're all that I've got~_

Whether I like to admit it or not, he has protected me from others who have come after the Millennium Ring. This means almost nothing to me, though: I know he needs my body as a host to continue to stay in this world.

He uses me.

I didn't use to care...but that was before Duelist Kingdom. Before he threatened Yugi and the others. Before he killed Pegasus.

Now, I hate it. I want him out.

I told him so before.

_~(I can't feel) the way I did before_

_Don't turn your back on me_

_I won't be ignored~_

He didn't appreciate that at all.

What an understatement.

He threatened my life. More accurately, my soul. I don't know how far he will go, and I don't intend to find out. I backed down.

I'm sick of that too.

_~(Time won't heal) this damage anymore_

_Don't turn your back on me_

_I won't be ignored~_

A serpentine smile slowly splits his lips. _"Thinking about something?"_

"No," I lie. I don't want him to know. He'll just use it against me.

_~I am_

_ A little bit insecure_

_A little unconfident_

_'Cause you don't understand_

_I do what I can_

_Sometimes I don't make sense~_

_"Oh, surely you must be," he whispers, taking hold of a strand of my hair and twirling it around his fingers._

God, I hate it when he does things like this. Loving, fatherly gestures become twisted and dark in his hands, as do all other things he gets hold of.

I'm afraid it's happening to me.

_~I am_

_What you never want to say_

_But I never had to doubt~_

I shake my head, trying to sink back into the bedspread, away from him. It doesn't work. It never does.

I suddenly become aware of my breathing: shaky, as though I'm about to cry. I want to cry. I want to scream and cry and...

Wake up and realize that the Millennium Ring - and he - was just a bad dream. Pad downstairs and get a glass of milk. Go back to bed. Wake up the next day and get ready for school. Live a normal life.

But I can't. Not as long as he's here.

I want to tell him. I want to make him understand how much it hurts, how much he hurts me.

Deep down, I know it will never happen. He'll never understand.

_~It's like no matter what I do I can't convince you_

_For once just to hear me out~_

He doesn't want to.

_~So I_

_Let go watching you_

_Turn your back like you always do_

_Face away, pretend that I'm not_

_But I'll be here, 'cause you're_

_All that I've got~_

He leans even closer. I try to get away from him, pressing my back into the bed, scrabbling with my hands, trying to move. It's not working. He still has me. I'm trapped under his body and caged in my own mind, pacing like an animal at a zoo. His own private zoo, where he can poke through the bars and torture me all he wants, and no one will notice.

_~(I can't feel) the way I did before_

_Don't turn your back on me_

_I won't be ignored~_

Or care.

_~(Time won't heal) this damage anymore_

_Don't turn your back on me_

_I won't be ignored~_

I am nothing to him. Nothing special. I'm something to amuse him when he's at his most sadistic, something to vent on at his angriest. I am an object, a toy to be bent or broken at his will.

And I can't escape. Try as I might, I just can't get away.

_"You are__ thinking something," he hisses, that frightening smile still at his lips. He leans toward me yet again, so close I can feel his icy breath on my cheek._

_"Tell me."_

I feel something snap deep within me.

I rise up what little I can to meet him, and return his hiss.

"You want to know...?"

_~Now_

_Hear me out now_

_You're gonna listen to me like it or not~_

Getting up has made me dizzy. The room spins slowly, the walls fade in and out of focus...but his face stays clear.

I can feel emotions rising in my chest and throat. Fear, hatred, and a terrible rage I never knew I had rush together, clash, and then mix, pushing to get out, to make themselves known.

I sit up more, push myself higher, forcing him to back away from me. Good. Get back. Who wants you.

"Do you...really...want to know?"

Suddenly, fear comes rushing into my mind. What in hell am I doing? Stop it, stop it now!

But I am no longer in control of my body. In fact, I am no longer in my body. Somehow, I am watching myself struggle without feeling any of it.

That doesn't mean I'm not frightened.

These emotions raging through my body can no longer be controlled. If I lost it like I'm about to now at school, people would blame it on test stress or something like that. But now, with nobody here but the two of us...

My God, he'll kill me...

_"Do I want to know?" He leans forward slightly, trying to regain lost ground. His snakelike smile gets wider. __"Yes, I think I do."_

_~Right now_

_Hear me out now_

_You're gonna listen to me like it or not~_

"FINE!"

class=Section2> 

I surge forward, shoving hard against his chest. The momentum, coupled with the fact that he was unprepared, topples him off the end of the bed.

I am back in my body and in control, and I know exactly what I am going to do.

I rise from the bed and stalk over to where he is still on the floor, trying to get up, and I begin to yell.

"I'll tell you what! I'm sick of you! Sick of you taking my body and using it for your own selfish, twisted means! Sick of you abusing my friends and my family! But most of all, I'm sick of you, always at the back of my mind, saying and doing things and making me miserable! I HATE YOU! I WANT YOU GONE!"

**_"WHAT YOU WANT MEANS NOTHING!"_**

I never see it coming, but I feel the hard, open-handed blow connect to the side of my face. The force spins me halfway around and off my balance, knocking me over. I aim to land on the bed...

And instead hit cold, hard floor. But my room has carpet...what's happening?!

Then I catch sight of the "floor".

Oh God no.

I roll over and look up. My bedroom ceiling is gone, replaced by a roiling, seething sky of foggy purples, blues, and blacks. It is the same all around, everywhere I look. The only break in the pattern is him.

He's taken us to the Shadow Realm.

The rage inside me drains from my body, leaving in its wake a cold, hollow fear. I cannot survive here.

"Do you think I care?!"

I whirl around. The open rage that showed on his face when he struck me has now been replaced by cold anger. He is as real as I am here, no longer transparent.

That's only one of the many reasons this placed frightens me so much.

"Do you think I care about what you want?!" he continues angrily. "Or what you care about?! YOU ARE NOTHING! You are alive only because _I need you, and for no other reason!"_

He stops and glares at me. "I should leave you here. Alone."

I feel ice suddenly coat my insides."No..."

"In fact -" he suddenly makes up his mind - "I will." He turns on his heel and begins to walk away.

class=Section3> 

The fear inside me is suddenly electric, jolting to my feet. I race over to him and 

grab his lower arm and elbow, pressing myself against his body. I can feel tears flowing down the sides of my face.

I no longer care.

_~(I can't feel) the way I did before_

_Don't turn your back on me~_

"Please," I sob. "Please don't leave me here!"

_~I won't be ignored~_

He looks coldly over his shoulder at me and slaps me with his other hand, knocking me to the floor once again.

_~(Time won't heal) this damage anymore_

_Don't turn your back on me~_

"Please!" I gasp, rushing to my feet and running back over to him. I clutch at his arm, his shirt, anything I can latch onto to keep him from leaving me. "You...you can't do this!"

_~I won't be ignored~_

He stops and looks at me coldly. "And why not," he asks in a dangerously low voice.

I look fearfully up at him. "You...you need me..."

He snorts and shakes me off him. "I only need your body, boy. I didn't say anything about your soul."

He turns and starts to walk away.

I stand there, numb.

_~I can't feel...~_

He...he can't be...leaving me...He won't let me die...will he?

_~Don't turn your back on me~_

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!"

_~I won't be ignored~_

I rush back to him a third time, fearful hysteria crowding out all other emotions, all 

class=Section4> 

other senses. All I know is, he's my only way home. I can't let him go.

I grab him around his waist this time and cry into his chest. "Please, please no," I manage to gasp through my sobs. "Please, no...don't leave me here...don't let me die...don't let me die!"

_~Time won't heal...~_

I feel his grip bite into my shoulder as he rips me away from him and holds me at arm's length. He leans over so his stern face is level with my tear stained one.

"This once," he hisses. "Only this once."

The world around us shifts from the ugly, seething darkness of the Shadow Realm back to my dimly moonlit bedroom.

He releases his grip on my shoulder and turns, heading toward the shadows.

_~Don't turn your back on me~_

Then he stops and looks at me over his shoulder.

_"Next time," he says, __"I will leave you there, and nothing you can say will make me do otherwise." With that, he fades into the shadows._

I don't know if he's watching me or not.

Shivering, I pull back the covers of my bed and flop down on it. Clutching my pillow, I begin to cry.

I live in fear of him. I cannot escape.

Take me now, God.

Let me die.

_~I won't be ignored..._


End file.
